putar belit hati.

In the name of Allah, the most merciful.

I have to say this, and this has been one of the universal truth about me.

I am neither strong, nor I am used to have my hopes and dreams being crushed. Not to say that I always get things going my way or the spoil brat who gets everything. I’ve gone through a lot, for a 21 year old girl, but I am not strong. I have breakdowns and this, right here, is one of them.

Lately, everything seemed to have gone wrong. Not that I am frustrated with what has happened, but I think, it might have been too much for me to bear. One after the other. Bagai jatuh ditimpa tangga.

One thing that keeps me going was something kak Diha told me last autumn break.

Kita kan Muslim, kenalah kuat.

Alhamdulillah, with Him in my heart, I somehow know that everything’s going to turn out fine and insyAllah, better than neither of us expected. I mean, everything happens for a reason, right? He wouldn’t have let us go through such a bumpy ride, if it is not for a great experience, I believe.

Given my best in looking for a new place to say next year, I think it is time to leave everything and tawakal. Istiharah.

If we’re not meant to stay there, perhaps, there should be some signs or maybe I will not have this uneasiness anymore. Either way, Allah knows best, and anything that He says best for us, will sure be the only best thing for us. Perhaps, if we are to find another flat, Allah wants us to work harder, to find a better place than the one we already have no. Again, Allah knows best.

Ya Allah, tetapkanlah hati-hati kami yang berbolak-balik ini. Berikanlah petunjuk yang terbaik agar kami berada dalam ketenangan. Amin~

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