January 15th, 2011

In the name of Allah.

Praise Lord, yesterday was one of those eye-opening days I’ve had in my 21 years of living. I went on a lunch date yesterday with two friends, one of which was a senior in school.

She has always been someone, I’ve thought of when it comes to relationships. I don’t know why, but she simply is. And, indeed she is one of the most experienced in it, I must say.

We were talking and listening, well I did most of the listening, because I was such in a misery these past few weeks. and of course what she said was indefinitely true, like the ones you read in books. But the fact that it is said by a person to another person, I was in such awe. I mean, we’ve read dozens of books and articles but hearing it all over again, make a whole lot different. Somehow, I feel like someone has just hold me by the hand and support me at the back. It was such a good feeling.

Alhamdulillah, the talk we had was worth the time.  I felt like I just met an experienced shrink from the Life&everythingyouneedtoknowaboutit clinic.

One thing that has definitely wake me up was the fact that I have never really given myself space to grow up. Not in terms of being a baby or taking care of myself, which I have done pretty well, no doubt. It’s the idea of giving myself space and time to work my relationship with people. For instance, meeting new people and getting to know them better, instead of sticking to the same old circle of people. I came to understand yesterday, I have been missing a lot of good opportunities in letting people surprise me. I feel so bad saying this, but I have to admit that I am judgemental towards the new persons in my life. Up till yesterday, at least. They have to be this, and that, and whatevercrap I want them to be, which is soooo SALAH.

How I was so wrong. and guilty to everyone around me.

Alhamdulillah, I praise Allah, for through His grace, I am able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I might just find the answer to the question that has been playing in my mind in the past couple of years.

Surprise me, whoever you are. 🙂

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